"Hey there, Buddy!" Colin greeted the masked marauder. "How you doing in this stuff? Thinking with your stomach again, right?"The raccoon turned to face his benefactor, raising up on hind legs as he sniffed the air for that familiar scent that would identify friend or foe. Once he recognized Colin's signature smell, there was a chattering sound of greeting as Rocky waited for whatever hand-out Colin might have."Sorry, Buddy. I'm out of eggs, but I'll sneak down to McMullen's and get some this afternoon. You'd like that, wouldn't you? Yeah, you and Pepé both, and I don't think a half dozen would break Frontenac's heart, either. Gawd, sometimes I envy you. You've got food, a warm nest, and no women to complicate your life. So tell me, how the hell did I let myself get so ... so fucked up?"For the next five minutes, Colin poured out his woes to his psychiatrist, who looked at him through that black mask with uncomprehending, dark brown eyes. While Rocky probably didn't understand one. A member of my domestic staff evidently receives it by subscription through the mails.My dear, I do believe this matter weighs all too heavily upon you. I recall very well Ruth's misadventures as a young maiden; how she would prefer the company of young ruffians to that of her feminine contemporaries. I recollect, too, the sorry circumstances of her marriage to the not so very Reverend Livingston. Forgive me, dear, for being excessively blunt, but she had gotten in a delicate condition as a consequence of unseemly behavior with one or more of her unsavory associates, and was thus certainly in no position to pick and choose a more seemly companion for the voyage of holy matrimony."The wife should lie perfectly still during the conjugal act and in no case evince that she is obtaining enjoyment from same."Ha! I do believe this is referred to as "dead arse" in less exalted circles. It would be quite effective in convincing the husband to seek his pleasures elsewhere."Sex is at best.
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